Wednesday, January 16, 2013


I'm so outraged right now I am considering getting on the next plane and showing up at Ricki's door!

I saw this clip from the Ricki Lake Show and I'm disgusted, outraged and horrified.

Feel free to watch it, but be forewarned, it'll make your skin crawl if you've lost a baby!

The couple lost their baby boy only 5 months ago and the "professional" on the show does everything in his power to be as wrong as humanly possible about their grief. He says they are "stuck" and she should get a job and have a new baby. He pours guilt over her about not being a good mother. I honestly couldn't get through the whole thing before I started boiling with rage that these poor people had to sit there and listen to this NONSENSE.

You know who makes comments like he made? People who have NO CLUE what it's like to lose a child. Why he was used on the show is beyond me. (He's apparently a couples counselor from VH1. Yep, there's the problem right there...)

I'm heartbroken for this family. First and foremost for their loss, second for this atrocity. I wish I could tell them in person. There is NO time limit. Five months is just the beginning to a lifetime of grief. It's some of the most horrific pain anyone can experience. No going to work, no new baby, no "moving on" will change that. Period.

The fact that this show is broadcast into people's homes with such backwards information makes me nauseous. The things he is talking about are such common misconceptions about loss. Now, there is a "professional" acting as if it's truth. I COULD THROW UP.

If you are as outraged as I am, would you consider helping me inform the show of their massive error?
You can contact them here.

We need to let them know it's not okay.

I wish I could just hug this poor family and tell them how sorry I am. They will love and miss their baby forever <3.


  1. My response: A friend passed along a clip of your expert speaking to a couple regarding the loss of their infant. The couples therapist was there to help them move forward in their grief and "get to a point of acceptance." While a popular idea, the Five Stages of Grief have been thoroughly debunked, and to pass them off as "counseling" is offensive to me as a grieving parent. I acknowledge, through personal experience, that no one can truly understand the loss of a child until it occurs to them. So I am willing to accept the "therapist" does have the best intentions at heart. However, parading him out as an expert who can help this couple is wrong. This tragic family should be supported, their pain acknowledged, and their grief journey accepted as completely right in its own way. Perhaps a quick read through this article regarding grief would be beneficial for your "expert." Herein, Vaughan Bell discusses the trendy "Five Stages" and how there is no room for them in true grief journeys. While society, including your "expert," may be interested in seeing families move forward at your comfortable pace, we will not be told how to grieve the loss of our children. As for my family, I will allow my daughter to see us cry for her brother, so that she might understand the depth of our love for our children. I will not be told to "move on." I will travel my journey at my pace, through my ups and downs, for it is my own.

  2. I have seen the clip several time today. It is everywhere I look. I felt they were condensending even though their voice tones had some sympathy. Their words were so WRONG! I wrote them and told them what I thought of the segment. I think my 37 years of experience and losing two babies to stillbirth has merit in giving some input to her show.


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