While I sat on the couch tonight, I closed my eyes and dreamed of Samuel.
He is in his ducky jammies, all clean from a bath. I pull him up close and snuggle us up in a blanket. We read a story and I sing him a song and help him lie still. I rub his back and caress his soft hair while he quietly breathes in and out, slowly falling to sleep. I hold him close and breathe him in; His sweet clean baby scent is my favorite smell in the world. I hold him for as long as I want, before tucking him into bed and whispering "Goodnight my love!"
It's just me and my baby.
All is right with the world.
I open my eyes and see only darkness and hear only silence.
Nothing is right.
He's gone forever.