Every day in grief can be different.
Some days are calm. Some days I can feel *somewhat* like a normal person.
Some days are nightmarishly painful. Some days I can hardly get out of bed because I just don't see any point. Some days all I can do is hurt and cry.
Some days are a mix of the two.
There are times on some days when I'll feel a sense of "I can do this...I'm going to be okay". Then, minutes or hours later, I'm sobbing my eyes out all over again.
That's just the way it is. I've learned to accept that. I can stop what I'm doing, cry it out, and then get back to things.
I know living in the moment is helpful.
When I look back too much on the "what should have been" moments, I'm angry and sad.
When I look to the future and see that Samuel is always missing, I'm heartbroken and empty.
When I'm just still and look at this exact moment in time, sometimes, I can feel calm.
I miss him all the time. That never goes away. Ever.
I love him all the time. That never goes away. Ever.
But sometimes, I can just *be* and it's okay.
Today is 10 months, 1 week and 6 days since we said hello and goodbye.
For this moment in time, I'm okay.
I think of Samuel with love and he brings joy to my heart. He's my little love, forever <3
____________________________________
Where are you in this moment?
If you have a blog, will you write about this and then comment with a link below? If you don't blog, will you answer with a comment below?
We're all in this together...no matter what this moment is like for you <3
At this moment and all day today I have been thinking about two things 1. How perfect Samuel was! Every little thing about him was perfect and beautiful. 2. I have to forgive those who have said hurtful things. When we grieve our emotions are "raw" and even little things said can be hurtful. I am sure most people don't even stop to think that what they are saying might be hurtful. Today I choose to forgive and it brings healing.
ReplyDelete