To know you, is to want to know you more.

There are three people the title refers to:

1. Bryan - This morning, Bryan and I met with a Marriage and Family Therapist. Not because we are having any marriage issues, but to talk about this time in our lives and how it's affecting us. It was good. We told Samuel's story - what's been written so far - and were able to get an outside perspective on how we are working through our grief/hope journey. It was a good reminder that Bryan and I need each other to get through this. Tomorrow is our three-year anniversary. For one thing, wow...that was a quick three years! For another, I wouldn't trade my life with him for anything. He is the right one for me and I'm constantly reminded of it. I am more in love with him today than ever. Even though this time in our lives is challenging/horrible/awesome/joyful/crazy/unknown/scary, we both are secure in our love for each other. We absolutely know we will never leave each other to handle this alone. What a comfort to know you are so loved! Bryan, I love you forever. XOXO

2. Samuel - Even though I can't get to know him in the same way I will once he's born, I'm learning about who he is and I keep falling more in love with him. Here are some things I know about him.  He is definitely Bryan's son; He loves Mexican food. Now for me, it's good, but not something I want all the time. For Samuel, just like daddy, at least a few times a week would be just fine with him!  Also, he LOVES meat. I'm not saying this lightly. Before he came along, I did like meat, but not in the same way Samuel does. He would be happy as a clam if I would only eat some type of red meat. Hamburgers, yep! Steaks, yep! Ribs, yep! And none of this "sissy" meat, no sir. Chicken, eh...I'm good. Turkey, take it or leave it. But red meat... oh baby!! Where did he learn to love red meat so much? Before him, I had a burger maybe 1-3 times per year. Since he came about, it's all I can think about. Yep, he definitely likes red meat. I remember when I was pretty early on and we were out for a walk when suddenly, out of the blue, I was like "I really need a whopper from BK right now". Now, at that point I had not had one for at least a few years, so, clearly, this was Samuel's first attempt at sharing his love of meat. Little did I know...

Next, he loves daddy's bed time stories. When daddy reads to him, he wiggles and squirms and kicks all over the place. He loves his daddy!

I have also learned that he is just like me when it comes to bed time. Oh man, there is nothing like staying up all night and sleeping in all morning. Ahhh. None of this "getting up early" business. If we have to get up early, he is begging for a nap around 11am. His favorite time of day to "request" a nap is 3pm. He and I are going to get along just fine if he continues this pattern!

Finally, he loves music. Especially at church. During worship, he is moving all around (I guess he is dancing!) We turn on music during the day and he just loves it. He even likes daddy and mommy's singing. Although I'm sure it won't be long until he figures out what key the song should  be sung in. Oh well!

Samuel, I can't wait to know more about you. I love you! xoxo


3. God - The more I read about who He really is, the more I want to know. Why are Christians so wrong so often about who He is? It's like they pick up on tiny little details and then fill in their own versions of the rest. God is very clear about who He is and what He does. All you have to do is actually look! (Who knew!?) I've been reading the gospels in an attempt to really understand who Jesus is and what he is offering/expecting of us. The more I read, the more I realize I'm not right about a lot of what I've come to believe about him. If you have a negative view of Him, you don't know Him. And, sadly, it's probably the result of crap "Christians" do in His name. Gross. Good thing He is loving and forgiving!

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On a totally different note, our next appointment is scheduled for Friday. Since he is so active, I'm thinking of moving it back a week. Keep on kicking, my little Samuel :)