God has given me peace. I am doing my best for Samuel and I will continue to do so for as long as I get to keep him. I've had a few bad days in the last week (the woman who stole my parking spot got an earful!!), but I've also had some good days. So many people have reached out to us to show us they are with us on this journey. I guess people know my love language is gifts, because we have received so many of them over the past few weeks. I beautiful basket of bath salts, bubbles, etc., flowers, candy, cookies, a lovingly hand-made blanket and framed artwork. Each gift is not only thoughtful, but helps me to focus on the love surrounding us. One friend even sent me a box of my favorite TV shows on DVD! How precious to have people who love you! I hope and pray Samuel feels that love everyday. I still want him so much it hurts! Both Bryan and I are working on telling him about different things in life. He has learned about animals, sports (I'll let you guess who told him about that), family, our wedding, trucks and cars, seasons, and so many other things. I pray that God shows him these things as we talk about them. Daddy even made up a story for him!
We got a visit
from my aunt Lea for a couple days as well. She generously offered to
cook us a meal (nothing compares to having someone bring/make you a meal
when you're worn out) and to help me make Samuel an outfit for the
hospital. It was nice to have a project to focus on, and now I feel like
he has something special to wear if he comes in the next few weeks.
week I've really wanted to understand more about God and the
possibility of Him healing Samuel. I've found so many passages in the
Bible that speak of Jesus performing healing miracles. I asked myself,
"what does this mean for us?" In most every story, the person is healed
simply by asking God to do so. Jesus' response is typically something
like "I will because of your faith". So I've been thinking, is the
reason we don't see healing much anymore because we don't really believe
He can do it? I don't know the answer but I can tell you this much, if
all it takes for Samuel to be healed is my absolute faith that Jesus can
do it, then I WILL believe! Like I've said before, God has not promised
us He will heal Samuel, but, until He decides, I will ask for healing
and believe He can do it. As our pastor pointed out to us, it's like the
story of shadrach meshach and abednego (sp?). They tell the king, "Our
God can save us!, but even if he doesn't we still won't bow down to your
gods". We don't know what will happen with our precious little guy, but
we know God can save him. Even if He doesn't we will still praise Him
because we don't get to see the whole picture. We can't possibly know
For now, once again, I'll keep my focus on
loving my tiny little Samuel. I have a little song I sing to him (tune
of "Silver Bells") that goes:
mommy and daddy are with you.
we love you more than you know!
Thank you all for continuing to support us! We can't thank you enough.