After I took some time to clear the feelings of disappointment and frustration, I carefully outlined my thoughts and took action. (Overemotional conversations won't get me anywhere!) I called the social worker back.
I said, I wanted to take a moment to process things before calling you. I'm very disappointed about the boxes because I believe Mankato is a very under-served community. There are no support groups, no help for mothers who have lost babies, and very few services at the hospital to help a family make the best of the very short and precious time they have with their baby. We created these boxes out of love to help make a very horrible time, slightly better for these families. It's very important to me that the families in our community don't feel as alone as we did. There is no reason why a family should be denied help in these situations.
We went on to have a conversation about what specifically I felt is lacking* and ways we could work together. I also asked if I could speak with the nursing staff to give suggestions and have a discussion about what it's like to lose a baby. She is going to work on getting that to happen.
*I FINALLY got to explain to her how horrible it is to have a bereavement counseling
session in the OB office with pregnant and new mamas in the waiting
room with you!
She told me the reason they were not going to accept the boxes is for health reasons (she mentioned lice). I don't understand this because everything in the boxes is brand-new and unopened. It sounded like a brushoff to me. (Plus, I know they give out hand-knit blankets so that blows that explanation out of the water).
I've also gotten SO MUCH feedback and help from people who feel just as strongly about this as I do. Our NILMDTS photographer, Sherry, called to give my contacts she has on the OB floor. I've already called and left a message.
A few other people have suggested going to the local media. I really like this idea because not only will it help make this happen, but it's also a way to reach the other babyloss families in the area.
I'm going to work on this more. I will not let this be the end. Babyloss families need help and support.
Mankato has one of the only hospitals in the area. It's the only hospital I know of that has a labor and delivery department. It's serves many communities. I can't begin to imagine why they wouldn't need/want this and other services.
Thank you all so much for your help and concern. Samuel is going to make a difference in this community if I have anything to say about it. <3
Will you help? If you ever received a care box after the loss of your baby, will you share your story? I hope to compile the list of stories and give them to the hospital/newspaper as I pursue this further. Send them to RememberingSamuelEvan@gmail.com.