Well, there is not much to say about today. Bryan and I obviously apologized to each other for our crab-fest this morning. I really didn't know what to do today. I spent some time with his pictures. He is so precious to me. I miss him more than I can say. I love him endlessly. I remember looking in his little brown eyes and telling him that I loved him so much. I hope he still knows that it's true.
My sweet brown-eyed boy
I love this picture because, even though you can't see Samuel, you can see how much Bryan and I love him. And you can see how happy we were to have him with us.
I spent the day cleaning the house from top to bottom, it gave me something to do. Everything is sparkling clean, but who really cares. The sounds of a baby are missing from the air. The busy boy rolling around with his toys is missing from the rooms. There is just clean and empty space all around us. This is not how life should be right now. I don't know what else to say about today. Today, just like every day until I'm with him again, is just not right. He is missing and we are so aware of it.
Samuel,
Mama is missing you so much, my love. I'm wishing I could see your drooling smile, and hear your babbles. I'm wishing to see you watch the kitties with awe about what on earth those furry things are. I'm wishing I could snuggle you close and breathe you in. Me and daddy wondered tonight if you might be laughing. Maybe you would sit in your chair and bang your toys so loud just because it's fun. We would give anything to be with you now. We love you endlessly. You are our special boy, now and forever.
We love you,
Mama and Daddy
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