August 19th, Day of Hope

Yesterday was the Day of Hope. It was a day to remember babies lost. It was a day to say these lives were/are meaningful and we still miss them every day. I had been wanting to do something special in Samuel's memory, so I came up with two ideas: 1. I had people who wanted to participate send me notes about how Samuel had touched their lives. 2. I organized a small get together of mama's who had lost a baby/babies to join with me in creating something beautiful to remember their lost loves. (My BFF Jaimi, her daughters Emma and Abby, a dear new friend Erin, from Mourning into Dancing, and her son Jackson were able to join us).  I also invited my family to honor Samuel with us. We met at a place called Color Me Mine, to paint ceramic items to keep in our homes as a reminder of the sweet babies we all miss so much. Honestly, Bryan and I don't get out much these days, so it was really nice to actually get dressed up (that is to say, more than every-day clothes) and go out in to the "real world".  We went to brunch at one of our favorite spots, then met up with everyone. It was a really nice day. I asked Erin to bring her Hannah and Charlie Bears (click here for more info), and I brought my Samuel Bunny and some photos to set on the table as a reminder of who was missing that day. My mom and dad brought us a special frame with me, Bryan and Samuel. He looked so much like us as babies! (Apparently, my uncle Jim had this great idea...Thanks, Jim!)

We all worked on our projects together, we talked about the precious babies we all miss so much, and we had a good time. The crazy part is that the woman who was helping us from Color Me Mine, told us that her mother had lost a baby boy at 31 weeks gestation. His name is Gabriel and I wrote his name on my heart when she told me about him. Another little one, gone too soon. It's amazing how many people are affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, and baby loss. I wish it were not so.

Here are some photos from our little painting party. (We should have taken a group photo...duh!)

 

After painting, Bryan and I went out to a nice dinner at Cheesecake Factory. We haven't gone out for a long time. It was good, but as always, hard. A table for two should be a table for three.

I'm so glad we did something to commemorate this day. On the drive home (and, let's be honest, for much of the evening after we got home,) I cried for my little Samuel. I'm trying the best I can to make good out of so much bad, but the truth is I don't want any of this. I just want him.I just miss him so very much. I love him forever, my sweet little bunny.

As for the letters from friends, it's a lot to share. Please click here to read them. I really can't say how special these are to me. Thank you so much to everyone who participated. They mean so much <3