Today has been such a crazy day of emotions. I'm starting to feel as though I'm losing control of them. Up and down, back and forth, round and round. I need to get a grip.
After my anger-fest this afternoon and my crying out to God for doing this to me, I remembered a sermon I heard a few years back. I really needed to hear it again today to get some perspective.
Why do we have such a wrong image of God? God is love. That's all. God did NOT cause Samuel to die. He is crying right along with me. He is faithful and will hold me as I try to cope. Why am I wasting my life with hurt and anger directed at Him? Why are Christians so quick to try to explain situations with words like "it's God's plan" or "God knows what He's doing." God did not do this. God is love...everlasting, unfailing, perfect love. If I can keep my focus on that, I can be ok. Samuel is so fortunate to only know of that love. He never ever has to know the pain of thinking God has turned against him.
Please take the time to listen. I believe this is the truth.