Sunday, April 14, 2013


"Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure and I know there'll be no more tears in heaven."
Eric Clapton

Samuel Evan, 
Our sweet baby boy. How on earth has it been this long? Our beautiful baby boy; One year old. I can't believe we've missed it all. I can't believe you're not here to smash your cake and wear your birthday hat and be smothered with kisses and love. What happened to our precious boy? How have we continued on in this world that's left cold and empty without you? Life would be sweet with you here. 

Instead we stumble through the darkness, trying to make it just one more day without you. 

"Never have we felt so cold, as when we remember the heat that was lost".

What would you be like now? What a big boy you'd be! Small steps and big smiles. A happy boy, an inquisitive boy, a growing and learning boy; who would you be now? What does a boy filled with love look like? We wish we knew. 

"Our greatest loss is heaven's greatest gain."

Today it's raining. I guess even the sky can't keep from crying that you're not here. 

One year later and the hole is the same. Forever there, forever empty. Our Samuel-sized hole. You are forever loved and forever missed. 

"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy"
John Lennon

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Samuel. We miss you. We love you. 

"How long do you want to be loved?
Is forever enough?
Cause I'm never, never giving you up."
 Dixie Chicks - Lullaby

Whoo LOVES you?

The birds on the clothesline sing.... You're my little tweetheart! you're my little tweetheart!
The cow grazing in the meadow calls...I love moo! I love moo!
The owl in the tree top says....Owl always love you! Owl always love you!
The puppies snuggled in their beds say... We ruff you! We ruff you!
And what do I say to you?  I love you! I love you!

You are so very, very loved <3

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