I'll Carry You With Me

October is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance month. (See www.october 15th.com for more info). Lots of groups schedule events on October 15th to remember those families affected by pregnancy and infant loss. When I noticed on Still Standing that there were no Minnesota events scheduled, I wrote my sweet friend Erin to see if she'd like to help me organize one. She quickly agreed, and we set to work imagining a beautiful event to honor our sweet babies.

We decided to hold it outside, with trees covered in white lights, hot cider served around a huge bonfire, and lots of candlelight. We're going to have a special ceremony with music and readings and a time for each family to speak the name of their precious baby(ies). We want it to be a beautiful and meaningful time for grieving families to feel the love and support of those who understand the tremendous weight of such a tragic loss. We want each baby to be honored and remembered with love. Our theme is based on the poem by E.E. Cummings, I carry your heart with me [I carry it in my heart]. We want it to be an evening of light and love <3

I like having something to work on. Something that will be a special day to honor Samuel's life. But it's also hard because I wish with all my heart that no such event was needed. I wish I could trade it all for him.

My sweet boy...I miss him.

I was just thinking today about how big he would be getting. No more newborn clothes for that boy...he'd be a big boy now. Most of the clothes I had ready for him (you know the ones all washed and hung so neatly in his closet) would be too small now, I bet.

I just really, really, really miss him. What else can I say?

Ok, I digressed for a moment. (I miss him). Back to the event.

Any family in the MN metro area who has suffered the loss of a baby due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal death, or SIDS is invited to participate, along with any friends or family who would like to support them as well.

Since the actual day happens to fall on a Monday this year, we decided to hold it on Sunday, the 14th, instead. Samuel's 6th-month birthday. Oh my, that may be an emotional day! (and by "may be" I mean absolutely-positively will be). There is something nice about knowing I'll have something special to do for him that day, but as I sit to write this I'm freaking out just thinking of it! Oh my goodness...half a year since he's been gone...I'm not sure I can handle that. *deep breath* I need to just keep going. One day at a time.

If you'd like to know more, please click here. Everyone is welcome!

 

If you'd like to participate,  but are unable to attend, you can light a candle in your baby(ies) honor at 7pm on October 15th. Leave it burning for at least an hour and imagine how our sweet little ones looking down from heaven would see the light and feel our love. 

 

One last thing: I miss him <3