Heavy heart

Today is a heavy heart day. It's only 10am and already there have been lots of tears. I just really, really miss him. I woke up early and just can't stop thinking about him. Oh, Samuel, mama misses you so very much <3. 

Yesterday, someone said to me, "You can still be sad without sitting on the couch". It's true. I'm going to try to get some things done today. Everything is just harder when you're carrying around such a heavy heart.

I found an etsy page with some really cool name blocks. I ordered Samuel's name. Sometimes it's all I can do to just have things around that speak of his life.He is a part of our lives and I want it to be known. I have the perfect spot all ready for them when they come.

I have no idea how this works, or maybe it doesn't, but someone told us, "If we can talk to God, and Samuel is with God, then why can't you ask God to tell him things?" Who knows if it's true but nonetheless: God, please tell Samuel just how special he is to us. Tell him how much we love him and how we can't wait to see him again. Please, God, give him lots of hugs and kisses from us today. Tell him we love him forever!

oh, how I miss him <3