Searching for Samuel

My arms are looking for the baby they should be holding. My ears are listening for the cry they should be hearing. My body is looking for the baby to feed, hold close and protect. My eyes are looking for the face of my baby. My heart is looking for the place to pour out all the love I have for him. My brain is scanning for a reason why there is nothing where there should be something so special. My legs are ready to run any distance to find him. My hands are desperate to caress his soft skin. My soul is longing to connect with his. My mouth is overflowing with kisses for him and words of love to whisper in his ears.

It's all in vain...there is no baby to find.

God, why didn't you trust me to raise him? Why didn't you think I could do it? I would have done anything for him. Why, God, did you take my baby?